30 Days of Icing
Truly. I’m trying to end every night dancing before I step in to bed. Sure I might be a little sweaty, but I feel exhilarated and alive and happy after I dance. And I make sure to dance as if those who are watching aren’t judging me.
Screw dancing alone. It isn’t as fun ;)
I’ve watch a lot of image centric tumblogs. A lot of them post reply to reader messages publicly. I am honestly a bit taken aback by the amount of people asking, begging and pleading for these blogs to reblog pictures of them. It makes me, honestly a bit uncomfortable. Maybe it is just my western sentimentality but… no. No. I think it is not a good thing.
The Ices Factor
Ices is not vain. While yes, she loves her fans. And yes, she likes to make herself feel pretty with make up and colored weaves etc, her videos are not, “hey everybody look at how hot I am”. What drew me to her initially is she is just unapologetic-ally herself. Her goal is to be the best Ices she can be, and that includes all those things to look pretty and dancing. Now, maybe vanity comes in to it when she starts posting the videos, but she is never, at any point, begging people to watch her. The videos seem more like an expression of self in a social space than a “let me give you guys what I think you want so you’ll tell me what I want to hear, which is that I am the best, and I’m beautiful, etc etc.”
What I mean by Not Vanity
When you are trying to be pretty, or happy, or feel good for yourself, and only yourself, that is Not Vanity. When you are trying to be the best YOU you can be, that is not vanity. When you start caring about how people will think of what you are doing you start teetering on vanity… and this is almost always coupled with negative feelings. Shame, rejection, fear etc, all in YOURSELF! That is wrong. If you manage to let go of your vanity, and just be you, you’ll be a happier person.
I know this is not 100% realistic. So really, what you need to do when you start heading towards vanity is check yourself and recenter. You will get nowhere looking only for the approval of others because in the end their approval is empty if you don’t love yourself first.
LOVE YOUR BODY!
major belly love going on over here!
She got the right idea!
If you like you are perfect than you are!!!!
We should resign this blog to THIS chick. Hell’s yeah. She’s Ices-riffic
(Source: marfmellow)
Apparently the fabulousness mantra is working. I’d like to take a moment to point out thaty, copying/mimicing isn’t always flattery. Sometimes it is fuckery.
Web definitions
en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fuckery
- a brothel; sexual intercourse; nonsense; unfair or morally wrong action
Still, seeing people attempt to emulate is, well, it can be fun.
American Apparel Refuses To Recognize Rightful Plus-Size Contest Winner As you may recall, American Apparel celebrated adding plus-size clothing to their stores by announcing a search for “booty-ful” models. The winner was supposed to be a woman who needs “a little extra wiggle room” and has a “fresh face and curvaceous bod.” Nancy Upton entered the contest, submitting photographs of herself eating chicken and bathing in ranch dressing. Her bio: “I’m a size 12. I just can’t stop eating.” Nancy’s irreverent take on the contest was inspired by the language American Apparel used: (via American Apparel Refuses To Recognize Rightful Plus-Size Contest Winner)
Before and After.
I am wearing a belt today even though I don’t feel worthy. People whose stomachs don’t jiggle should wear belts. People who have sucked the fat off their arms deserve belts. People who haven’t let themselves go to shit deserve belts.
The problem is I love belts. Shiny, sparkly belts. Bright, colorful belts. Obi belts. Waistlets, beads, chains, crocodile, leather, pleather, serious, fun - belts are awesome!
So, I’m wearing the belt. But deep inside I remember looking like I used to look and I’m acutely aware that I no longer look that way.
Only…
I also remember being that girl 10 years ago. I also hated her. That’s why in that picture where I’m about as thin as I ever was or am capable of being I’d just removed the belt I so wanted to wear with that outfit.
In 10 years I don’t want to look at pictures of me now, sans belt (or shoes, or lipstick, or corset, or sparkles, or joy) and think,”what the fuck was I thinking?!!!”
So, I’m wearing the gotdamn belt.
Ices Approved
I entered American Apparel’s “plus-size model” contest as a joke—and won. But I want nothing to do with a company that’s wanted nothing to do with large women until now. (via Nancy Upton on Her American Apparel Plus-Size Photo Spoof - The Daily Beast)
This bitch is Ices bad.
and if it hits bad? Resist the urge to kill/die. PMS is for the … the not me and the not yous. I mean, feel crappy. But roll with it. And know that underneath it all you are still your fabulous self and you will be back to normal in 5 days or less. AND DON’T LET IT STOP YOU FROM MOVING, especially when that movement is forward.
I started the day with some self work…but no sleeveless. I can’t strut with my fat arms visible. I just…can’t. Maybe one day…or, I may never become that Ices-ish. BUT I did buy the feather hair swag I saw and so coveted. Wore it right out of the store!
Living by the numbers is for the… no. I won’t say it.
But one of the things that I <3 about Ices is her ability to be herself despite her size/shape/being.
My BMI is 40. That number says I am a fatass, failure worthless pile of flesh who should be considering life risking surgery in order to be a meaningful member of society. That number is so not me.
I acknowledge that I could be smaller. That means I have to work on it until I get there. I refuse to let that number bog me down. I mean, honestly, I love my body. I love its proportions. I love my shape. I love that I have hips and a big butt and solid arms. And I love that regardless to my BMI/Scale number, it is always MY BODY. That is just what it is.
The only thing that would make me a failure would be me allowing myself to think that 40 means I’ve failed and that my body isn’t beautiful. I know when/why/how I got this big. It is an on going process to try to figure out how to get it back to where it was before the children screwed my hormones and my metabolism. BUT!!!!
My body is FABULOUS! It might not be YOUR ideal body but it is MINE! and I LOVE IT!
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